So here's the story: My DH is a very loving, supportive husband and wonderfully communicative. EXCEPT when it comes to any mention of therapy or medication. I have been off and on meds my whole life for 13 years and off them since I met him, about two years ago. I am feeling the need for meds again and therapy, I know myself and I know the symptoms. He thinks it should be pretty easy - just think differently and reach for the happiness inside me and train myself different cognitively and voila - everything's ok. He doesn't trust therapists and he doesn't understand why I would need to talk to a therapist when I can talk to him about anything. He also thinks medication is a quick fix or a band aid and he is not a big proponent. He also thinks that I seem fine - therefore I don't need meds. (I should mention that it is depression and ADD that I am seeking the meds for.)

I am ready to just make the appointment with the dr and get my prescription filled (he is more against the meds than therapy - he might be willing to go along with the therapy if I put my foot down.) I am tired of talking about it with him and I don't even want to start another conversation. I am hoping once he sees me on the meds he might change his mind and realize that they are good but I know its going to upset him - me doing this pretty much behind his back. I love him and don't want to hurt him and don't want to be dishonest but I just don't have the energy to cope with it anymore (all the discussions and talking.) I don't want to talk about it anymore. I just want to be left alone, really. Sometimes I hate having a partner, having to talk about everything with them all the time. I just want to be left alone, I just want to do what I need to do for me. I know I sound like a ten year old. I'm just frustrated. So am I being completely unreasonable and a bad partner by just doing this without his support? The money is also an issue. We don't have insurance and I know the meds will be expensive. We can afford it but it means letting go of other luxuries. I am saving to go back to college and I know he'll bring that up - by spending money on therapy and medication, the harder it will be to save for college. Blah Blah. However, if I don't get help, college won't mean crap because I won't be able to focus or enjoy it. I want to scream, seriously, and its not even that big of a deal. Sorry for such a rant.