I write poems from time to time. Not often, but occasionally. For the last few years, I've stored any poems I've written in the "Poems" folder on my hard drive. I also put poems there that I like that were written by other people. It's not like this folder is never visited by me.

Today I went to this folder for some reason and I was looking through its contents and I found 3 poems there that I do not remember writing at all. One was from less than a month ago. One of the poems was quite positive. Two of the poems, including the most recent, were very intense and contain what I can only label as images of death. The poems are somewhat obscure (I can't figure out what every line means) and very dark. I just don't remember writing these at all. But I know they're mine, because they are written in my style. They also contain images of what I would call "depression." I think I must have written these when feeling depressed. The thing is, I'm not depressed anymore and haven't been for some time. But these poems seem to suggest that there are times when I do feel depressed. But I don't remember these recent times and I don't remember writing these poems. It's confusing.

I'm feeling kind of disturbed by this. Is it normal to write things and then completely forget you've written them? It's as if some other person who writes just like me wrote these poems.

I'm thinking of bringing these poems to share with T tomorrow. I'm not sure if I should do that, or what would be the goal or point of that. I have shared a poem I wrote once before with T and it led to a good discussion. However, it was a poem I knew I wrote and that I understood. I'm not sure sharing a cryptic poem with T would be that illuminating. We would both sit there saying "what the hell does this mean?" Another time in therapy, T told me he wrote poems also and said he would bring in a poem to share if I brought in one of mine. I immediately said "no" I would not bring in a poem (my poems are very private and naked), and then reminded him I already had shared one with him. I think he was a little amused at how quickly and with what certainty I said no.

Maybe I should just chalk this up to "sunny has a bad memory" and forget about it.