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Originally Posted by lilaclily
I've actually been talking about this with my T lately. I've been struggling with transference and such things. I do believe that they can care on some level for all their clients. I am a teacher, and even with 100+ students I do have real emotional feelings and real caring for each one of them. I imagine it must be similar with Ts. I don't spend all my free time thinking about all of them by any means, but I do have real caring and love for them. Some of them I care about more deeply than others, and there may be one or two that frustrate the heck out of me, but I still care. So, I guess I disagree. I think they can care, but their caring won't necessarily match my level of caring. And that's what I've been working on in T lately, is why that's so important to me that they match.
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lila, that's what I was trying to say. I'm not a teacher now, but I did student teaching and I remember how much I cared about each child. I agree that's how it is with our Ts. I've struggled with this issue in therapy too. I don't know why it's been so important to know that my T really cares about me. Do you think it has to do with the fact that therapy makes us so vulnerable? Why should I tell my T what I'm feeling deep inside if she really doesn't care? Or is it that I want the relationship to be equal, to match, as you say. I want her to care about me as much as I care about her, but that's not the way therapy works. It's frustrating, but it's for our own good.
tree, Simcha had a valid question. Why is this coming up for you now? Sending you
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