it feels like there is a logical half of my brain and a crazy half and the logical half, i can hear it in there screaming "no! don't say that!" but then the crazy half beats up the logical half and i say it anyways and just escalate the situation.

That reminds me a lot of Id and Ego... don't you think?

Just your raw reaction or impulsiveness, vs your thought out/processed action... I can understand where you are coming from, sometimes you just can't take it anymore and you "lash" out with words or in some cases physically. I get that way a lot... I used to have to meditate or listen to music everyday to keep myself calm. Anger management would be a good idea (would have been a good idea for me too) and/or chill out time every night before bed.