Skeksi, Sannah, Lscs1950,

You hit the nail right on the head! or was it the phoenix

Skeksi, thanks I needed to reframe and view the positives - thankyou for pointing them out to me - a short time agoa and I wouldnt have been able to either answer the door or make the phone call - so its progress.

I went back to "I am Bad" and "I am not making enough recovery fast enough" which seem to lay at the core of my thoughts - thankyou for making me realise I had tapped into these thoughts

Sannah, oooh perfectionism raises its ugly head - I think I have to try to expect less from myself ... slightly less.... a little less than perfection - I am definately NOT perfect - (as I remind myself often )
and must remember as my old T said that I am not Superman - but Human! wonderwoman maybe......

LSCS1950, thank you for helping me put the brakes on - yes I was very frustrated with myself - I want so much to be healed - for this to be over - and another core belief of mine was and sometimes is that if im not healed its because I havnt worked hard enough or done enough or.... that im just not smart enough to "get it" - dunno ..... i know it takes as long as it takes ...

I just wish I could stop feeling anxious most of the time - maybe when I get the tape from my pdoc in 2 weeks time that will help - although I'll probably wear it out in a week lol

Thankyou all for stopping the runaway train and making me stop and think