Thanks everyone, for your thoughts on the mystery poems.

I think I just must have written the poems and forgotten about them. I can tell they are first drafts. Maybe I just dashed them off during some upset moments and then forgot about them. From the content, two of them I clearly wrote while feeling depressed, which doesn't happen much these days, and maybe I just wanted to block out the memory of feeling depressed so I forgot about these poems. I like to think of myself as "not depressed" right now, so these poems would be evidence to the contrary and not consistent with my current self-image. So maybe I just blocked them out of my memory to prevent the dissonance.

Now that I have read the poems several times, I am starting to "own" them. I connect deeply with them as I guess you would to something you yourself wrote. I find one very sad. I tried reading it out loud several times, but couldn't get through it. Two of the poems are very dark and I don't really want to acknowledge I felt this way or that I have this in me. I don't understand the poems completely and that seems odd, because wouldn't you understand a poem you wrote? (There is a very scrambled point of view in the sad poem, and I am not sure who is who in the poem.)

I did go to therapy today, and took the sad poem with me, but we had much to discuss and didn't get to it. In the morning light of a sunny day, it seemed strange to have these dark poems, too strange to share, a work of fiction, and not connected to our work in therapy. I would not know what to say to T about the poems, because I am fine. I am not a person with the dark thoughts in those poems. There really isn't anything in the poem I want to communicate to T. There have been occasional times I felt depressed and did not want to go to see T because of that (and I'm not sure I ever have--maybe once). I didn't want him to see that person. I am not depressed anymore, and it is embarrassing to me to show a "down" side to T. I don't mind being sad with him, but being depressed is different and not something I want to bring into his office, whether by a poem or otherwise.

I think I need more time to grapple with the poems, anyway.