Thanks, chaotic. I think it is much that way for me too. The "chronic" days are over and the worst of that was before I knew my current T, so he has never really known me badly depressed, and I am glad. (My former T was the one with the depressed sunny on her hands.) Once in a while, though, I do take a dive. And it really is just like a dive, often sudden and deep (hold on to your hats). But usually doesn't last long. I guess if I told anyone, it would be my PNP, not my T.

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OK, I just talked to my PNP as we had a phone appointment scheduled and I didn't tell her about the poems, but I did mention the short bouts of feeling down and she was attentive, and we will talk more next month when we meet in person. I remembered something while talking to her about how I stopped taking my Vyvanse and Wellbutrin for about 5 days because I wanted to do an experiment to see their effect on my blood pressure. And I checked my calendar and sure enough, the 5th day was when I wrote that sad poem. I told her about stopping the drugs and feeling down and she said that is "rebound effect" and she told me since I am in anxious/stressful times right now (I have a lot going on with my divorce and am back to seeing my T every week), that I should keep on my drugs right now. When I am through the stress, we can re-evaluate. But she did say the Vyvanse has been so helpful, she doesn't want me to stop that ("ever" was implied).

Anyway, I didn't mean this to be a drugs post, but it was while talking to her that I made the connection with the time I wrote that most recent poem.