I so admire your honesty and self-insight.
How you don't judge, just notice and explore 'what is'.

I hope for the courage to look squarely at who I am, where I've been.
Often the isolation is necessary for me... I need time to think. I try not to judge it but I sometimes do; I enjoy the isolation much of the time, but other times I feel like I've failed at life and so I am isolated. Hard.

My T did not diagnose me, I diagnosed myself and she confirmed it. She said early on (I think from the start) that the diagnosis fit. I discovered it through reading and thought it fit and asked her and that's when she confirmed. One thing she stresses is to not get hung up on the diagnosis. That is such a good idea because I can let it define me instead of letting my self be available so I can get to know who I am.

Thanks for a great post.