Hi Wi, I am here, just self absorbed. Maybe you don't need or want opinions, if true stop reading now. My opinion is that you can not ever get the man to change and the only thing you can control is how you parent, who you are as a person. You are so nice, it's hurting you. You don't need to have him go back and say oh yeah I admit I did that and it was my fault. Chances are quite high that won't happen. You can be at peace with your truth. There were a million years when I wanted to hear my abusers own up and apologize. Hey, they still believe we were the waltons. I know my reality, you know yours. Part of that is processing the feelings you have about his abuse. Part of it is dealing with him in a way that he can't take your power. He hurt you and continues to do so. That is HIM. You can take care of yourself and love your babies and learn to trust your gut and listen to it. I hope this helps. Take good care of you. You deserve it. By the way, do you still get your hair and nails done? That is a nice pampering thing to do. I personally would not ever do post-divorce counseling. He still has too much power. I wish for you to know your reality and stand firm in your values and your parenting. You go girl!