Well in my life I've been hurting alot--it started at my new school..middle school. When I was little..I used to love school. Now I dread it everyday.

People seem to dislike me..When I talk to no one?? Its like I'm either invisible..or hated. My 'friends' treat me nothing like friends. Whenever they seem to have an issue..I'm always there. But when I wanna talk..they have to do something.

I started cutting my self a while ago. It just seemed to let my anger out..on myself.

My mom and I love each other..but when we fight its terrible (nothing physical). She seems to not love me..and I tell her I would run away but the real world doesnt want me either. Then we make up with each other a few hours later.

Then..my sister..
Oh boy.
We fight non stop. Occasionally we have fun...and mess around for the fun. But our fights are HORRIBLE. We fight physcically..over the dumbest stuff -.-

I REALLY would LOVE to get along with her. Its just sometimes we both SNAP.

Now for my grandmother. She (yes, and shes in her 60's) is addicted to pain killers. She says she'll go to a hospital or a rehab and comes back the week later..and shes done this alot. Not to mention she emotionally WRECKED my mom when she was young by not paining attention to her..her dad gave her all the love. And she is evil at most times. I THINK she would be nicer if she got off the xanax (sp?).

My anger issues.
I snap.
ALOT.
On the stupidest &*%$.
But sometimes i really go off...which gets me in trouble because I take it out on people who I really care about. My sister who I just typed about is my twin; I'm know as the evil one.

I act out alot at home..but not at school. I've come to realize (I think) that I have less of a chance of any sort of punishment at home because of the fact that my mom is somewhat a push-over. Which is why I act out.

One last thing-I dont live with my dad. That has alot to do with this. He's married...and was when I was born. He was cheating (yeah). The wife knows about us..actually loves us..as I do her (no where near as close as my mom, though). But I just really wish he could live with us, because his kids dont love him-they treat him like &*%$. Literally--I've seen it. His wife actually argues alot to..but I'm not TOO sure about those too.

-_-
Ugh. I just..dont know what to do. I have alot on my plate and resolve it all with injury to myself or letting it out on others..which aint good.

Some feedback would be nice..