I've been thinking a lot about past experiences at work; times when I completely lost it or had complaints from co-workers about my moodiness. I no longer work there, I have a new job now in a different field but I fear that I'll "lose it" again one day.

I'm a very shy and quiet person, not confrontational at all. Sometimes people would complain that I was biting their heads off for no reason or ignoring everyone around me. That would always hurt my feelings because it felt like everyone was against me and most of the time I didn't realize I was doing it. At times when I was supposedly ignoring people, there was a lot of chatter in my head -- just trying to keep everything straight and get everything done. I'd become so focused on the tasks that I didn't realize I was being aggressive and dismissive to others.

There was this one really bad episode that caused me to get suspended for three days. Someone complained to my boss (she was also my best friend) and said I yelled and cursed at them. I remember I was really stressed, and when my boss/friend questioned me about it I had a complete meltdown -- I got really hurt and pissed that she took the other girl's side over mine. I yelled and cussed at my boss and told her I was quitting -- she chased after me and took me to the bathroom to talk to me. It felt like everyone was against me. I started crying and couldn't stop, then was told to go home.

I have a lot more episodes that I wonder about, but does any of that sound like mania or hypomania, or was I just *****y?