I just wanted to update everyone, i haven't been around in awhile. Fortunately i'm doing pretty well with therapy. I'm very self-aware of my patterns and, although i may still tend to fall in some, I bounce back quicker. I'm learning not to "test" people and why it is unhealthy. I'm learning to trust. I'm learning to accept things for what they are, especially accept people for WHO they are. I know i can't change anyone. I know i make decisions everyday about how i let things affect me. I know that my therapist will always be there for me and i feel comfortable calling her whenever i need to. And I don't "need" her every single day anymore! of course if i had the chance i'd love to talk to her everyday, but i'm not in a constant state of urgency. I've learned that even she is not perfect and yes she may hurt or disappoint me. But i know that our relationship is strong and stable and there is nothing we can't work through. I know that she is with me in my journey, like we are holding hands as i go over the bumps in the road. I look forward to seeing her and, for the most part, i leave our sessions feeling cared about and my needs feel satiated. If I still feel like i have needs, or there is something bothering me when i leave, i've learned to be able to sit with it and function otherwise. If it still continues to play in my mind, I know i can call my T and even if she can't make it better, she will still listen and give me that pep talk that always gets me back on my feet. I've outgrown a lot of people in my life, and i've learned what kinds of people i want/need in my life. My therapy is not something i'm going to give up just because i've learned these things. I believe there is always room for growth and self-exploration. Things will continue to come up for me and i like have therapy as my stability and my constant that will never change. It is strong. My therapist is encouraging. She's inspiring. I'm doing this for me, but WITH her. She's apart of it. And i'm not stopping. Therapy is the hardest but most rewarding thing out there. It can get very tough and difficult, but, just like the ocean, the waves pull back in. Sometimes the waves come crashing down but they always recede. I've learned that in therapy. With therapy, things are good even when they're bad. I'm more resiliant. I'm ok. For those of you starting therapy or having a hard time, hang in there. its all worth it. And if your thinking of starting therapy, don't wait another day. I believe everyone belongs in therapy even if they don't have some mental illness. Life is full of things to talk about/work through.

Hang in there everyone. And learn to value your therapy and be open to learning/changing.