I just got home. I chose to talk about issues other than my feelings about her. It was productive, and I don't regret it. I did tell her that I still felt attached, but I was all right, and that I wanted to call her much sooner, but I got through it. I didn't die from my feelings. Then I went on to discuss my other issues. She gave me some good suggestions and ideas.

My therapy is not psychodynamic. My T focuses on solutions, not my feelings, though she validated some of mine today. It's not til I left that I felt like crying.

All my fantasies about her are just that--fantasies. I know that, but I still want to cry for the little girl inside of me who wanted her to take care of me. Those needs get triggered in therapy. Maybe I will call her back and ask what to do. I asked if I can still call her and she said, "Have I ever not talked to you on the phone?" She always does, though sometimes it's briefer than other times.

Maybe it's better to just end therapy and not have sessions "as needed." I don't know if I'm strong enough to handle it this way. My T thinks I am.