Hi Chaotic,
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Originally Posted by chaotic13
I do all of these things especially the Thumper impression, fidgeting, and the zoning out. I think in my case it was both the ADHD an anxiety. The zoning out and having trouble finding my words FEELS like it is worse when I don't take my Adderall.
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Whats the "Thumper impression" sounds kinda funny. ( lol)
My therapist did more talking than usual yesterday . And I noticed even though I was staring straight at her there was this static like interferance in my head . And It was a struggle to not drift . It happens so easily . Its like zonning out or tuning out. VERY frustrating. I told her what was happening . I miss whats being said when that happens . Its like i'm racing ahead of whats being said to me . I also was aware of sorta beating myself up a bit for it happening .
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I say feels because, I don't know if my T noticed any difference when between what I'm like medicated and not medicated. Since being on the Adderall I usually mention somewhere during the mid or end of a session....Oh, BTW forgot to take my Adderall today. I usually don't mention it at the beginning of the session 'cause I don't want her zooming in an observing my ticks. I tell her at the end, just in case she is thinking... WTF is up with her today. LOL
Sorry...off topic.:-)
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Not off topic at all Chaotic . I did the same thing . Im starting to speack about whats happening. Maybe eventually she will be able to read me . There is no off topic . just a branch or new node. an off shoot .
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ANYWAY... Like I said before. I think my anxiety (hypervigilance state) and ADHD had me in a state of constant overload and my head was in lock down. From my perception, getting medication for the ADHD helped me get out of the brain-spasm cycle :-). Although I still struggle a lot with my anxiety, especially when trying to talk about the past and personal problems in the present... I'm getting better. I'm not sure in my case if it is really possible to separate the trauma response from the ADHD symptoms.
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I feel this way alot . in a state of overload . It takes very little for me to sence danger in others emotional states or looks, They may not be about me but its difficult to not wonder if it will drift in my direction somehow. Thats when I feel anxious. And then I have the state of over load / overwhelm with the disorganization of my work and living space {s} down to boxes and bags . theres no Filing system ...just a "fling " system
change one letter ..LOL!
Im good a flinging. very good. frizbee toss .. LOL LOLLLLLLL
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not have any adverse effect from being on the Adderall and I'm not hiding or not getting apropriate treatment for my anxiety. Hopefully when my trauma stuff is dealt with and manageable...I will be able to cope with being a bit hyper.
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I've heard that the stimulants can make angziety worse for some . S thats a problem for those with anziety.
I guess just being okay with being hyper is a good step . I left the office commenting,
I guess its okay Im my ragmuffin disheveled self . Now that I have a reason for it . I can let up on myself . Its not because Im a slob.
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At this point I am very glad that during therapy the ADHD issue was raised. I was able to take charge of my health care... got this issue under control so that I could then focus on other stuff.
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Im glad you did too.
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Auro, if you think getting treated for ADHD is what you need... then demand that your health care providers listen.
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well yesterday in my session My therapist must have consulted and she did some reading in the Book Driven to Distraction and she said she saw me in there so we are going ahead with ADHD treatment using CBT
AND
she said "were going to get you some meds when your ready."
so .. I had this grin on my face that would come to me off and on durring the day . I think I was actually happy not crazey happy just this amazing grin .
So.. I have home work...
And its gonna be alot of work. Sunday I left my lights on in my truck and had to have a jump. And yesterday I locked the keys in . They were not in the ignition . I put them in a bag when I was putting my cd player somewhere other than just on the seat. Today just the usuall chaos . of seeing where I placed things yesterday. Always an adventure of hide and seek.
Just thinking
I may one day not be a "bag" lady..
Patricia