Thanks, ktgirl. I've been in therapy for many years with different Ts. I "terminated" therapy with my current T about a year ago, after 6 years. I was very attached to her, but she felt that we accomplished a lot, and that it was time to end therapy. She usually doesn't see people for that many years. We tapered off gradually, and because I couldn't stand the thought of never seeing her, she said I could come "as needed" or just to touch base.

Due to financial reasons as well as attachment reasons (My H lost his job and my T was not under his insurance anyway) I can see her about every 3 or 4 months. That's hard, but not as hard as knowing I will never see her again. I agree that it's a difficult position to be in.

I'm doing better with the fantasies. I always wanted her to give me what she couldn't, but in her own way she gave me love. I will have that forever. I don't know what else I can do. After my last session, 4 months ago, I was all right. This time I had too much to talk about, so it's a bit unfinished. Maybe because they are ongoing issues for me, and I'm feeling a little down right now. Not enough to need regular therapy again, though.

It's hard not to miss seeing my T every week, or even every 2 weeks. Maybe I will just have to spend the money in a month to see her again. But I'm not sure if I just want to feel that intimate connection with her again, or if I want more help. I just can never figure that one out.