Quote:
Originally Posted by BNLsMOM
I'm new here, but the episodes that I think are manic are usually signing up for things that are too big, like traithlons, etc. Other things are making impulsive career changes into fields I have no experience in, changing apartments, having arguments with people and really letting them escalate...when these things don't work out, I fall into depression and quit the jobs, regret the new apartments and apologize for hurting people during arguments, and just being really hateful toward myself.
Does that behavior classify as manic? I don't have "classic" symptoms.
|
I definitely have these behaviors & my pdoc has classified them as hypo mania as they do not interfere w/my functioning enough to cause big problems (except the overspending could if my husband didn't have a good job; my overspending is spending hundreds of dollars at a time whereas people in a full-blown mania have been known to buy a HOUSE on impulse {Jane Pauley did that} or several cars that they can't afford or a friend of mine literally bought hundreds of books on the Middle East as she thought she was going to go there to broker peace (delusions).
My hypo manias lasted quite long (6 mos.) & were totally enjoyable. I slept only 3 hours a night, but had extraordinary energy & had a physical thrumming inside me of adrenaline coursing through my body. I just felt so alive & full of self-esteem (not a common occurrence for me). I would join every group or cause (I call them my CRUSADES as I would get totally involved & would quickly rise to the top of the organization as I would be so devoted & do so much--even to the point of ending up on TV--and I am normally a very shy person).
I would become a different person--outgoing, the life of the party, awesome tennis player, run miles every day, lose weight & get down to wearing a size 2--actually turn into a much "better" person than I really am. My husband liked me better (certainly better than when I'm depressed, but also better than when I'm "stable" as I feel like a blob compared to my hypo manic self). It is like being on a feel-good drug. I HATE having to give up the hypo mania, but after not sleeping for so long I usually end up crashing & then getting overwhelmed w/all I've signed up for & cannot do anything so I leave everyone in a lurch & can get very depressed (2 1/2 yrs. ago I did a suicide attempt after a 5-month period of hypo mania).
So my doc says if I go 3 nights w/out sleeping at least 6 hrs. I have to call her & get highly sedated so I won't go back into hypo mania. I do have a lot of trouble sleeping.
I have been dxed as bipolar 1 despite never having a full-blown mania because I have had mixed episodes (both mania & depression at the same time) & have had delusional thinking (believing something that is not true in reality).
As far as the thoughts or actions of jumping out of moving cars or jumping off cliffs, etc. I don't have those when hypo manic. I only have those w/depression or mixed (the depressive thoughts make me think of stuff like that). When hypo manic life is so beautiful. I miss it so much. I guess it IS like a drug to me.