Frankz,

I'm sorry to hear how much anger and pain is in your life. As I was reading your post something I read in a self help book came to mind. It's called the see saw effect.

To put it briefly, it means when one person is able to be quiet, unemotional, nonreactive, even passive aggressive to another person, it will cause that other person to over react, get too emotional, go crazy even. (Like it sounds like you do.) This compensates for the person who is not getting emotional, is not reacting, is not sharing their feelings in a constructive way. While the person who is aware of what is happening - though unspoken, unacknowledged by the other - keeps feeling more emotional, feels the need to act out emotionally precisely because the other person is acting like nothing is wrong, or they have no feelings when they should, or may even be intentionally trying to get the other person to act "crazy" so they can point to them and say "you are the crazy person, there is something wrong with YOU."

Because they are acting supposedly "sane," "cool," "calm," and "collected," they and others look at them as the "normal" person. While those of us who feel and acknowledge the unspoken insanity of what's going on around us and in our relationships, and thus react to that, are looked at as "the problem" or "crazy." When really it's the quieter, calmer unemotional person who is causing the "see saw" effect.

If you stop reacting to that, you can change the dynamics of the relationship. Or at least you can stop acting in ways that make you look out of control and make you feel bad about yourself.

Stop going "nuts" just because the other person doesn't, but should, be acting in an angry, or some other manner. If they choose to act like zombies, that is their choice and their problem. You can state what you think they should be feeling, and what you are feeling. But do it in a calm, matter of fact manner.

Whether they agree, disagree or try to further manipulate you into over reacting, once you've stated how you feel and why, drop it. Walk away. Try to disentangle yourself from all the dysfunction in all your family relationships.

If you can get into therapy, or see a school counselor that would probably be very beneficial to you. Don't let other people control your emotions. YOU take charge of your emotions and your actions. Good luck.