((((((tree))))))

Thank you! I used to have to call my T after every session. Sometimes I'd still be on her street but I'd be immobolized. I've come a long way since those days. Other times, I'd wait until I got home, but I just needed that connection again. I don't know exactly why either. It's nice that your T sets it up that you call her afterwards.

In the past when I called in distress after a session, she would tell me to get involved with something emotional, or just try to do whatever I needed to do. Daily life. Usually I didn't feel better until the next day. I don't know why. My T knew I always had trouble leaving her. She did tell me once that every time I leave it's like an abandonment, even though she's NOT abandoning me, it feels like she is. So maybe that's the reason we feel like calling right after a session.

I didn't call her yet, and the urgency is gone for now. I will see how I feel tomorrow. I was trying to figure out what I wished I could say to her, and it came down to "I want you to tell me you love me." But I wouldn't say that. I would probably substitute "care about me" for love. I know she cares about me, but after an "adult" session, I want a little of that nurturing. Sometimes the session is "good enough" but sometimes I need more. My T has her limits and boundaries, but she will tell me that she cares about me.

Also, we didn't "finish" anything, and I brought up too much. That was frustrating, but I just have to work on these things by myself. The other option is to find a T covered by insurance, but I really, really do not want to start therapy again with anyone else.