Thanks Berries for putting it into perspective. It's so hard because I truly love him. Two weeks ago he finally went to a new doc and was put on mood stabilizers. In many ways they seem to help, they only area we still have problems is when i need him to understand something I may be going through, he can get very defensive and angry. I never speak to him like it's his fault, I only tell him what is hurting me and ask for his understanding. I just feel everything and everyone is more important. He can be very loving, but in a situation where I found him on a website looking to have an affair, then a week later he says he doesn't desire me as much anymore, it hurts. What he said was in the heat of an argument, but none the less, it still hurts. We aren't as intimate as we once were and i try to let it go, but after a while the hurt surfaces and I need to talk to him. That's when he gets angry. We go on for a while, everything is great, but when I try to tell him how I feel, he sees this as me making it go wrong, and then the anger and hurtful words come out. is it too much to want him to be there for me once in a while? I'm asking seriously because maybe i'm asking something he isn't capable of giving. He was married once for only a few years, but has been divorced for 15. He was engaged once, but that relationship lasted for only a year. I beleive you are right, he is able to work when he is up or depressed, but he never did have any children. As for the relationships, it seems this one is lasting longer, I would like to think because I understand and support him in every way possible. I'm hoping with the new meds and continued therapy he will be able to have a better understanding of where I am coming from. Again, maybe I'm asking him to give me something he's not able to do and that hurts because I love him and I'm doing everything in my power to make this work.