Phoenix: Thank you; I like
Bether: I saw her just to see her AND because I wanted help with problems. I'm been feeling a little depressed, which magnifies all of my issues! Or maybe the issues are causing the depression. If I won the lottery, I'd stay in therapy forever but I don't know if I need it or not. I got 67 on the Sanity Test, so that's pretty normal. It's just hard for me to let go of my T. A former T said we all have issues until we die! That doesn't mean we have to be in therapy to work on them.

I told my H I wanted to see her in a month instead of 3 or 4 and he got angry. It's not just the money, though that's a major reason, but also that he thinks I just want to "be with her." He wants me to talk to him instead. Which would be a good thing to have more intimacy with him, but it's hard. I try.

mixed_up: I've always had this hole to fill up, and my Ts have said they can't fill it up. Only I can do that. I always crave affection and validation. I have trouble loving and validating myself, though I know I can't depend on others for that. Other people fail me. I can't depend on my T anymore, though I've internalized her caring/love for me. I'm a grandma. You'd think I'd have this figured out by now, huh? I appreciate your concern greatly.