I have also made many bad choices in my life......drugs, alcohol, dealing....breaking many laws but never was caught.....I'm 52 and still trying to climb out of that hole.....Just know that 'all at once' is too much. Take a little each day, or hour, or minute.......be aware of what you have decided to do and focus on it...I've read what you have written here today and feel very positive about your resolve.....
May you also find PEACE in what you have chosen to do.......yutzman