Quote:
Originally Posted by ashsoccergirl
I He was the last person that i ever believed would hurt me but i was wrong.
my mom didnt believe me and turned everyone against me.
there was another investigation and she was with me every step of the way. i ended up testifying for the grand jury but nothing happened after that but the investigation closing.
my mom later made me and her cut all contact but atleast i had some relief for a liitle bit of time when i was with her. he then continued molesting me
and someone found out but i refused to say anything because i knew nothing would happen. it hasnt happened in a while and im happy but i know its only a matter of time.
i now have a phsychiatrist and an in home counselor but no matter how much i want to say something nothing comes out. the only way i could ever tell what happened to me was through wrighting
whatam I supposed to do now? my life is over but i can never seem to end it. i hate asking for help because that makes me weak and i cant even kill myself because im a coward.  |
Hi Ash,
there is not a good sad eye emoticon here. But you capture your sadness in thoes dalmations eyes.
I want you to promise me something . I want you to make a copy of this thread and delete anything that links whats written that might link wats written to this site so this will be a safe place for you to still come and share .
and then I want you to give it to your theraapist and I want you to tell your therapist "who saw it happen to you again."
I want you to fight this again Ash,
I know you have been shot down twice and I don't know why this has happened . But you must do this . I know you feel like why try , But you must try again, You must be heard . I;m hearing you now . You are still in danger of being retraumatized .
Your mother is the one who has hurt you again.
maybe your afarid of being taken from your home.
when I read your title I thought. I don't wanna go there . But after reading your story I can't just sit here and say nothing .
I was being abused around the same age as when it happened to you. my memories are from between age three and four after we moved into our first house . Only I had very little memory of my abuse. I don't remember if I said anything to any one . Its a big blank .
My first comming out was to my first therapist . I was in my mid 20's I didn't know what I was doing .
this is a bit graphic.
One day I came in and asked my Male therapist .
"When men go to the bathroom are they extended ?."
he asked me . "why are you asking me this"
I said . " because I saw my father in the bathroom one time"
Thats all that was said . Silence. no further discussion. it went back into the silence from which it came .
About two or so years later when I was having some difficulty with thnking men were exposing them selves to me and Men had for real . on several ocations. from age 16 up untill my mid twenties ,
He brought that up durring some questioning and I had my flash back.
But once again I sorta talked about it but really didn't .
Because my abuse is so forgotten and just snap shots . I have a difficult time beliveing it really happened .
I've been alone with it and still am . never gotten any validation except for a weird phone call where my parents were both on the line and my mother asked me if I was bothered when My father played with himself.
My response was ..NO . this was shortly after the memory .
See I was very good at hidding the truth. and still am.
Thanks for the thread .
I'm glad you have the sport of soccer for an outlet . But lets Sock the perpetrators not HER as in YOU. .
Patricia