Do you have many friends, Rainbow, outside of therapy? Answer only if you're comfortable answering.

I think you and I are very similar... My H wants me to talk to him too and I am trying to work on that with him to make things better. But you know what? I think we need friends too and people around us with common interests. I've come to realize that my T and I shared an interest in psychology and human behavior and philosophizing about deep things that H and I don't share. So I suppose now I'm coming here to meet some of that need. Maybe try surrounding yourself with a lot of people and opening yourself up to new friendships and relationships. That's what I've been doing since I left therapy. I also try to remembering the intense, close and loving feelings that I felt for my therapist as a positive feeling. It's partly longing, yes, but in the end I want to give the joy the power. Focus on the caring and the love and not the loss. I still feel connected to T and carry the things that he taught me with me every day. So in some sense it really isn't about what you've lost, but what you've gained. Keep trying.