You are soooo not alone with the flashbacks and feelings of disgust. I feel though I tend to be harder on myself than others would be of me. I'm learning a lot about that in group therapy.
When I read the highlighted text, I felt sad for you, that it happened to you...but there was absolutely no feelings of disgust towards you. I can assure you of that.
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Don't follow the path that lies before you. Instead, veer from the path - and leave a trail...
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