i agree with your wisdom of knowing what you need regarding this relationship and applaud your strength. i understand it's very hard for you. It sounds like you tried to work things out ad nauseum and came to a very healthy, though difficult decision.

i hope you can take it one step further by letting your T and RL friend know you appreciate their problem solving efforts but that you've thought long and hard about this and feel it's in your best interest to end the relationship and hope they can support you with it. i think people who care about you automatically try to help fix things. You're wise enough to know that's not where you're at any more and i say, more power to you.

i know it's been very hard for you but please keep hanging on to your conviction. You know what's best for you and i applaud you.