((((((peaches)))))))

Be gentle with yourself right now, I can only imagine how difficult it must be to process this.

Reading about your session today left me feeling like you and T are pretty disconnected. I see you communicating what you need, saying some really tough things, and her responses almost strike me as defensive. I think both of you are doing your best, but that T is running up against her own limits. In other words *this is in no way a failure*.

I believe that each of us knows what we need to heal. Trust yourself. Maybe it would be interesting to call the Somatic T and just ask some questions? You don't have to decide what to do right now, just what the next most obvious step is.

In my own experiences healing trauma, it took some time before I was able to imagine comforting the inner hurt child. I had to start with just practicing feeling what compassion feels like. (Like imagining feeling compassion for an animal, or small child.) Then, your body becomes more familiar with how that nurturing feels, and it becomes easier to apply it to your own life.

I would recommend just practicing compassion. However you can. Notice how it feels, and how beautiful and warm it can be. When you are ready, I think you will naturally begin to feel that for yourself.

Many, safe, compassionate hugs for you!