Awesome poem! But she sounds so defeated. Is that how You feel?
Please trust your mom to understand, you know she loves you.
Worry about your feelings and reach out to her. She may already be wondering and worrying about you and not sure how to approach you esp., if you often attack her with anger.
Be upfront and let her know you are afraid and the last thing you need her to do is to blame herself.
Moms are often a lot tougher than you think. Let her give you the compassion that you need, please. I think we all know that you can do it!