T should not say things that bring confusion and misery on you. That is not ok.

Those who do the terrible, worst things are so scary that sometimes children have to go along with them to survive. Plus if they do certain things to us our body will respond because we are human, not because we are wrong or evil. We are just human.

We endured SRA and all kinds of things you just can't say without hurting people on these forums and we don't want to do that to anyone. Our T has had to help us get through many, many horrible things they put us through. God has been a huge part of healing and helping me to escape the evil web they caught me in before I could even talk.

I can't help you by sharing stories of the past or talking about it, I am just not there yet. I wrote to let you know you are not alone and you are not wrong, bad or hopeless. The guilt is their's, the penalties will be their's. I have been able to release a lot of guilt and false responsibility (over time).

Any T who doesn't feel safe or who makes you constantly unsettled or who increases your guilt-feelings doesn't sound like a good fit for therapy. Even though a good T has to get you to face things from the past, he or she must do it with sensitivity, compassion and skill. I've had at least one psychologist who was dangerous to me and abusive. My current T has worked with me for over 14 years and partly that is because she had to grow into this kind of work and because living with a husband who is non-supportive and doesn't believe DID exists has slowed my ability to work down a lot.

Be kind to yourself, it is the right thing to do,

Leslie and her pixies