why is it that is seems for every good feeling a bad feeling follows ?

Aren't the good feelings more now because you are progressing where previously there were few?

Is it because we (I) am afraid of feeling good? or losing the good feeling?

or afraid of the bad feeling coming back so we do somthing to make ourselves feel bad?

Did you come up with any answers on these questions yet?

hmmmm afraid.....

wouldnt it be nice to not be afraid anymore ? waiting for the next trigger? trying not to wait for the next trigger?

Is the anticipatory fear more than the actual trigger?

To be able to go to a friends sons funeral because you are not close to the edge and cant stand crowds as they make you panic? (to not feel like dirt because you were too weak to go)

You can only do what you can do!

Wouldnt it be nice if you stopped hurting yourself for more than a week?

(after making it through nine months you would think you would make longer than a week.)

You have had a difficult patch going on lately, though......

Wouldnt it be nice if the sadness went away and never returned... until it was appropriate?

Your sadness is appropriate now........

Wouldnt it be nice to be able to cry.. to be human again...

You are human now!

Wouldnt it be nice to be able to focus solely on the good and let the bad flow by....

then we wouldn't be human..........

it would be nice ... wouldnt it .