Hi Notme,

It helps me a bit to hear from others whose t's also don't use touch. I think my self-esteem is just so low that it's hard for me to not interpret it as "something wrong or bad about me." It is especially hard knowing that my t does hug some of her other clients. She mentioned it a long time ago, not sure how it got brought up. So that makes me feel even more so that it is a problem with ME. The hurt feelings about that are just so strong. It is difficult to put my mind around the idea that she's withholding as a way to help me, since it feels so rejecting. I guess I just need to keep working on it.

I'm thinking about this other SE therapy. I've looked up a little bit on the Net about it and think it could possibly help me. But it's a very scary proposition to me to work with someone new that I don't know and haven't built up trust with. I also worry that if i don't see my t for therapy for several weeks, it will widen the gap already between us. Separations from my t have always been very hard for me, and it's been difficult each time to reconnect. So I need to really think about it.