Hi Spotted Owl,

Yes, you're right. i do feel a disconnection with t. I found it weird that, after 2 emotional sessions where i was very angry and hurt, she responded to one of my messages by saying Nothing is different for me. I don’t feel the “problem between us” that you point to. We've gone around and around this physical touch issue for years (seriously), sometimes my feeling so hurt and rejected i was ready to quit therapy. Now that it has come up yet again, how can she honestly say she doesn't see any problem between us? Yesterday, she said she recognizes that I have been upset and dissatisfied with the way things are going, so that was why she felt she should advise me about my options.

My t did not give me the name of this therapist yet. Her blackberry went out and now she has to comb through computer files looking for the information. I'll see if she gives me the name and number on my next session, or the one after that. If she does, I may just call the SE therapist and ask some questions. If she doesn't, I'll have to decide whether to bring it up with my t and ask for the name and number. My t told me it wasn't her "first choice" to do this, but it was an option. Her other option has to do with our slowing down the trauma processing so that i don't get overstimulated.

Thanks for telling me how you approached comforting your hurt inner child. I like your idea of just practicing compassion in general and noticing how it feels in my body first. I will start there.

Thank you for the hugs.