no you're not coming across as too rough Sannah - I cant imagine you ever would
I get that anticipating is not good - but I cant seem to switch off the hyper vig..... T tried with EMDR but I had to stop - my hands went into fists and I kept hearingthe word PROTECT shouting in my head! Wish I could switch it off...sigh..
I know, but how do I do that - if its automatic? I didnt even realise the police cars triggerd me till now and thats a few hours afterwards
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts 
its how many times you get back up! 
(Thanks to fenrir for my Picture 
)
When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown,
Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly.
by Patrick Overton, author and poet