its getting worse.
i cant physically get into and stay in school any more.
my counsellors pulled me out of all my exams this summer.
im thinking about suicide on a daily basis - without even really wanting to - and ive already made up a plan of how in my head. i feel unable to trust myself. i cant control it any more.
ive cut out all of my school friends - just stopped talking to them completely.
they dont know. nor does my boyfriend. i dont know how to tell him.
this past week ive stopped being able to function properly.
im locking myself in my room. i feel too sick to eat... and when everyones out im purging water.
i feel disgusted with myself.

everything seems so hard.

i didnt get much sleep last night. i woke up at around three and just sat by my window till it was light.

i want it all to stop. my jealousy. the paranoia. it makes me feel sick.

ive never cared about anyone as much as i do him.
yet ive never worried more that they just dont.

i cant keep going.