The closest i can come to this is that Im aware theses feelings are out of proportion for what the relationship was .

I asked myself if i have ever felt these kinds of feelings in relation to the treatment I got from my father.

and the answer is No.

I have felt rage a few times in relation to my fathers treatment , and it was directed at myself. I still vasilate between anger and hurt when I get hurt. .

I tried to shift these feelings over to my dad. tried to vsualize it.
i couldn't do it .

aside from this . ( as it may relate to dad)

This person has taken too much liberty in defining me. and has acted acording to placing me under the lens of a diagnosis,
to have this person see the damage they have done and make an amends may be helpful . But I may not belive the person based on what I have seen..

will it be alright?
no

onlt with changes made coud it be.
Do I long for that.

yes.
But I have no control over how this person chooses to see me , But i keep trying. .

this relates to a few others in my life.
I want out from under thier seeing me as a diagnosis

and see Me ,

Patricia, a woman who Is "not" what they have made me to be. And a woman they do not know even though they said they did.

they have done the damage , knowing all my vulnerabilites .
thats what makes it so cruel.



Patricia