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RiverX · May 07, 2009, 06:00 PM

I can relate to that too.
Thinking about what you say: - where theres blame, for whoever, it keeps a human contact going between the two people, because theres nothing worse than the senslessness, the expereince of having no voice, no way to make an impact, just indifference - this equivalent to cosmic exile, total alienation. Baby's die without contact, they die of heartbreak, and I believe, so do adults, I've witnessed that. It IS that deep
. Humanity is so damaged you experienced this first hand in your tenderest years.

However, heres another thought: 'All children are wanted children, they are wanted by life'. I see you are bravely trying to resolve the lack of love. I think we shouldnt give up the longing for resolution and righting of wrong, but HOW to create resolution, this takes some consideration, to find the highest good .......... would this be the challenge posed to us by life ?

Those people who have missed the opportunity to love thier child have missed the greatest gift life can give. We who have tender, painful feelings are more privileged.

Well, Id better stop holding forth and go and see if I can practice any of this myself lol

........ but to summarise, I think theres something a bit better we are called to do than blame self or others, yet without minimising anyone's responsiblity iether.

r.

Quote:

Originally Posted by peaches100

River,

Oh yeah. I also wanted to comment on what you said about being able to cope with the pain while not self-blaming. I blame myself ALOT. My t keeps saying if i attribute responsibility to my parents for what happened to me, then I will feel so much better because i won't blame myself anymore. But it feels easier to blame myself than to think that my parents (for whatever reason) chose not to bond with or protect me. And because I see all these parents who are affectionate with their kids and protect them like a mother bear, i keep feeling that there must have been something wrong with ME that prevented my parents from wanting to bond with and protect me. To think that i was OK, and that they just chose (for whatever reason) to ignore my needs and not protect me is absolutely a heartbreaking concept. I don't know if i can ever accept that. To me, that is so much worse than blaming myself.