Thanks (((((((Sky)))))). Yeah, I'm kind of hoping that the T can give me some insight on HOW to say no because when I do, it becomes such a HUGE ordeal of guilt and "feeling bad", I really don't even want to face it. I mean, I want her to be comfortable in her older years - I think all of us want that for our parents BUT it's kind of a "how do I get there from here" thing.

There's many things I "think" she needs to do. She's milked everyone in our family for support since I was a pre-teen. I need to get a hold of my Aunt Susan, her sister. Susan had the same kind of traumatic childhood as she but has managed to keep the same job with Exxon for however MANY years and function rather well in life. Mom always chastises her for being a "holy roller" but I see it as what she draws strength from and I think there is nothing wrong with that. I am agnostic but draw strength from my spiritualism.

I think I need to get the family involved so that it's not just me standing out there ALONE.....trying to help her help herself. I'm in for a hell of a fight and I know it. We live on the same 5 acres so, it's not going to be pretty. But regardless I am trying. That's why I want to talk to someone who can see it for what it is and maybe help me figure out how to confront it.

It sucks. It affects my whole life. My relationships, I realize now it was a big trigger for my alcoholism. I realized yesterday that my heaviest drinking years began about the time she started going downhill mentally and physically. Go figure.

Anybody that has had a similar experience, please feel free to share or put in your opinions _ I am a sponge for advice.