I'm beginning to think there is a serious underlying issue I have not been aware of, or maybe just couldn't accept. I KNOW sex is meaning more here than just regular ole sex. Sex does mean a lot to me, the intimacy makes me feel good. But for me to rely on sex as a means of a self esteem boost is plainly destructive. This is why I feel ugly. But still, he shouldn't have deceived me this way. If he isn't attracted to me than he should have never been so sexually involved with me. I'll admit, the very beginning of our relationship.... we we're friends with benefits. It was purely sex...awesome sex at that. It was the sexual peak that couldn't go no where but down.

I told him I loved him, but what we've said to one another lately has caused to much emotional damage...we'll just resent each other from this point on. I'm devastated... but I'm leaving him.