I SLEPT!! :woohoo: Finally! After getting a couple of b-tchy texts. Because of Charlene. Here goes:

She came to me after having a go at me for not going to the girls' self esteem group and said "Are you ok with me?"

I said to her that I wanted time alone, away from people because they'd got on my nerves and stuff. Especially her having a go at me for not goinmg to the girls self esteem group with her. She said to me just now "are u ok with me?" I was just like... Why the hell should I be???!!! After you had a go at me and told everyone it's because I'm scared of Karis???

She said she'll put all my stuff together that's in her room and I can go and get it. Then asked if we're not going to be "mates" ever again. My reply...

"Guess not. I'm just fed up of all the s--t I get in this place. Especially from people being insensitive and just not appreciating me at all. I cant wait to get out of here"

Her reply to that was extremely hurtful and just proved how little people care about me *sob* I hate this. I hate my life. I hate myself. I am definately not eating now!

"ohh well I will get ova it I aint fussed "

Thanks Charlene. That really showed me just how little she cared and just how much she used me for "company" or food or money, whatever she could get out of me, she got it. Ugh. She makes me sick.

She then came on here. With Sam, the girl that was there when I was raped the last time. Showed her my posts. NOT HAPPY!!! She showed her that I'd written about her, that I'd talked about when she was drunk. Sam sent me a text..

"Oi!!! Please don't write about me on psychcentral. Writing about when I got drunk and you were asked to help security and look after me!!!"

Me: "There was nothing nasty written about you, and Ithey don't know who you are, where you live or your last name or anything."

Sam: "I read it all. you writing about how drunk I was and that I passed out and stuff. Don't do it. (blah blah blah......)"

Me: "Sam, if I want to get support for things, I'll get support. If that involves naming others, not full names, just first names and not saying where they live or anything, I think that's fair. I can't be expected to help people so much and not be supported myself. There is no problem with me doing that. Some people need to get sleep and getting petty argumentative texts isn't helping, so just leave it."

Something along those lines anyway. So I was woken up at 00:03am for that!!! GRRRR. Not happy. But I sorted it and stuck up for myself I guess, she shut up after I sent that last text.

Do they really expect me to help people and not need support fr it afterwards? I'm not a bleeding counsellor, I'm just a teenager!!! Even if I was a counsellor, I'd have to talk to someone about it anyway!! If she doesn't like that, then she needs to learn the ways of the world. GRR.

I've not let it get to me today, because even when i thought I wouldn't be able to sleep, I managed to get to sleep. Finally. Just. How can people be like that? So petty and cruel and inconsiderate of others feelings??? Especially when it's such personal stuff I'm writing on here that I don't want people from this awful place knowing!

Hmm. I guess I feel my privacy and safe space has been invaded... Yet Again.