I have been receiving so much support here and I am so thankful that I found this site. I know it seems I ask the same questions, I am so confused. Yes, I know what my bf says and does, qualifies as abuse. I don't want to use the BP as an excuse, it's just that when things are going well, it's truly great. But when he's hurtful the pain is so deep. Maybe I should try to brush it off, but it's so hard. We do go to couples therapy and I told my bf what is important to me, such as not being kicked out anymore and we talk things through rather than be hurtful. He agreed saying if it weren't for me he wouldn't be on new meds with a new doc etc. Anyway again last night (and just a couple of hours after he said he'd NEVER do this to me again) he told me he doesn't know if he wants me anymore, to get out, if I don't leave he'll call the cops and if i don't leave him alone he'd hit me. Yes, I know that's should be it and no I do not believe in anyway I should be hit. I have been there before, in another relationship, and i have left. It's so difficult because when he's stable we have a great relationship, but when he's "up" he's sooo mean....it hurts so much to think that just the day before or an hour before, he loved me so much and all of a sudden, he can't stand me, now to the point he says he'd hurt me. I'm ripped apart inside. I want to help him and yes I believe he's helping himself by starting with a new doc and couples therapy, but in the mean time........i'm so hurt.....it's getting really hard.