Hello All,

I've been watching my ex move on with his life almost immediately after breaking up with me. He moved on by dating this random girl, then moved in with her, then got engaged and probably getting married to her this year. I was 4 years with him and I saw nothing. Yet, with her, by the second year they moved in together, met the families and got engaged!!!

I'm having trouble moving forward. Real trouble. I'm alone to the point of sick. Nobody's interested in me. I've lost 40 pounds, exercising, nice clothes, bla bla...but nothing works. Most guys get stuck with my age (32), which is something that I cannot change or improve for them. So, I'm probably forever stuck in living a life alone.

My question is...does he ever think of how he ruined my life? Does he ever think of me at all and the damage he's done to me? He basically tricked me into spending 4 full years with him and lead me on to believe that we were going to get married. I was 24 when I met him. I was 28 when he broke it off. I needed 2 good years to get over my personal tragedy but by the time I decided to get out there and date (30)....I discovered that I was considered an "old model". Today I'm 32. I don't see possibilities for me. Every time I tell my age to some new guy I then see the lights dim in his eyes and after that he steps away. There is no hope for me.

Does my ex know what he's done to my life? He stole from me the opportunity of meeting other guys...and probably a guy that might have loved me more! He's moving on just fine with his wedding, with a person to spend a life with, with the possibility of having kids, etc. A full life. While I am living a new direction of a life which he created for me. Does he understand this? How does he feel about this knowing that I'm alone? How does he feel to know that I might never have a chance to have my own family? How does he live with himself knowing that he destroyed a life? Does he know?

I've been constantly wondering about that. I feel as if my life got stabbed and that nobody has gone after the criminal who did this.