((((((((((((( dear hangingon ))))))))))))))))

I could have written your post myself. It's amazing.
don't be surprised that instead of anger you feel hurt; it seems that anger is a coverup for hurt, so if you can get to the hurt, good for you.

I wonder if you and I are so much alike that you feel guilty for being angry with yr mom / hurt with yr mom. it doesn't help does it.

give it time; what is buried in you has been down there a lonnnnggggg time and it isn't going to be resolved too quickly. good news is that you have a guide

and a hug from me no, two hugs