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hi this is lily i am really freaking out i am not sure what to do i am upset close to crying but don't feel safe .......i wrote down the things i have been doing i will write them for you i also wrote how i felt when i did those thing .....
Things i did for the body.....5-7-09 ate 8:50 pm 1small kiwi
beans and rice - 330 calorie
mixed veggies 30 calorie
1 diet orange soda 25 calories
how i felt - body started feeling hungry when i ate but was afraid to eat more so stopped there feel sad but not sure why but also feel a little relaxed but not completely
9:30
changed sheets on bed
took shower
brushed teeth
shaved
applied lotion
took medicines and vitamins
filed nails
brushed hair
body feels tingly feel very connected to body kind of scared is this normal ? tummy is still growling part of me wants to comfort it and give it just a little more but scared mind tells me i ate too much already mind says i need to exercise till get to dizzy to walk
other people eat though not sure how much calories the kiwi is but think less than 70 the rest was 385 so let say the kiwi was 70 that would be 455 plus what may have stayed down after purging which may have been 145 that would be 600 i might be able to eat a little more i wish someone could sit with me i am scared i am eating a waffle 85 calories and a sugar free popsickle 20 calories please tell me i am okay
5-8-09 12:20 ate a grilled chicken sandwedge 225 calories want to hurt the body bad really bad not okay
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i was diagnosed with DID 4 years ago although sometimes i deny this disorder.
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