i think it's important to realize that while you may feel as though you've lost your innocence, you haven't really- he did. you didn't do anything wrong and someone else's actions don't dirty you, they dirty the perpetrator.

that being said, i know how you feel, and there's no easy answer. i feel like i lost any 'innocence' i ever had a long time ago at the hands of sick people. i still wear gloves all the time because i feel as though my hands are dirty and can't bear the thought of having to touch a stranger's hands.

i'm lucky that my fiancée was so patient with me when we started dating. it took a while for me to open up and be okay with even things like hugging. it's important to go at your own pace. never rush stuff.

talking to a therapist would probably help, i'm sure someone here will be able to provide you with some better advice. take care.