Absolutely honey........but also sound vaguely "personality disorder". You can have more than one thing going on........

I am Bipolar II with Borderline personality disorder and schizoeffective. I have been living with the last 2 for 15 years. Often symptoms overlap but i have had lots of therapy, hospital and meds as my treatment and now I am quite in control of most of it.

Knowing that there is a problem is the first step........I define mental illness as a state of "disfunction". In other words if a potential list of scenarios starts to effect your relationships or quality of life, it is an illness. I don't actually see my condition as an illness anymore as I tend to cope quite well with it. Don't confuse this with core values( your morality) or personality. The illness exists outside of that or though often they overlap and can cause trauma, confusion and inner conflict.

You certainly have an unstable history with your family and some of your relationships which would, if unresolved, significantly effect your adult life.

Don't measure your experience by others experiences. You cannot define trauma........what is devestating for some may be not be the same for others and vice versa.

Seeing a good therapist is the first step........if they are worth their salt, they will take some time to dx you properly. As I said, could be bipolar with the genetics in your family but a good therapist will make sure that there is not secondary issues to address.

Good luck sweetie........breathe through the racing thoughts and cleaning frenzies......don't be hard on yourself and work hard in therapy. It will be hard, terrifying and confrontational but the rewards are infinite and you will gain great strength.

We are with you........