Ginnie, I'm not sure exactly what your fears are, but obviously you are very distressed and i just want you to know that you have been heard and that my heart goes out to you. It seems like you are trying very hard to take good care of yourself, but still you don't feel okay in your body. Please, do you have a T that you can take your feelings to? Please someone to alk to face to face, if that's possible, to help you sort this out .
if safe