Safe touch to me is....

- Hugging family and friends
- Kissing my daughter on the cheek or head

Intimacy is one of my biggest struggles. I have always been self-conscious and have never been comfortable with being touched or looked at. In the 14 years I've been married, my husband has never even seen me totally naked. (He's seen the important parts though, LOL)

I am very triggered by his touch, in a negative way. I've created boundaries that he has always tried to test which made it hard to trust him when touching did occur. My T says that I have been in that relationship for so long, it will take me some time to feel safe again. The thing is, I was like that before I ever even met my husband....I'm assuming the SA in the past had a part to play.

I don't know if I will ever feel comfortable enough, safe enough, to allow myself to be that vulnerable and open with someone else. It just doesn't seem possible.