thanks guys .

the date went well. i had good time. he still hasn't tried anything creepy and/or physical with me, so i feel safe enough to see him again. i am a little bit on guard - he mentioned that his best friend got depressed a few years ago and doesn't "live up to his potential" - and that kind of got me a bit upset (i didnt show it, of course). i dont want anyone judging me on things like that.

as far as my head space is going, though... not going very well . pdoc is a good person, and he helps lots of people get better, and i'm just a stone that sunk and refuses to budge. i'm a bad person, and i think i should stop seeing pdoc because i dont want to waste his time anymore. my 'issues' are the result of me being bad when i was younger, and this is my punishment.