PinUpGal,
Some very good advice was given by reina29...
I'd like to ask if y'all are military? You mentioned JAG...
I offer m apology for not being up to speed on your situation.

Jmo, but what I heard in your posts reminds me of battered-wife syndrome...mental and verbal abuse are damaging to a person just as physical abuse is
Is there a Domestic Violence office/center near you? We have advocates who work with the woman in reestablishing her life. Perhaps you can look into this and see what is offered...

You are a worthwhile human being, deserving of respect and courtesy. Do what you need to do to stop his behavior towards you.
It hurts you but it also hurts your children--they grow up believing it's all right for a woman to be treated in this manner. It can lead to h*ll for them.

Please take care of you, you are important.

Catherine