Hi Nightdream,

I think it's good that you are trying to understand yourself- after all, we can truely only change ourselves. I'm not that familiar with Stockholm Syndrome-- do you see a therapist? Perhaps you could ask him/her about how you're feeling and thinking, that is if you're seeing one.

I know for me, after repeated abuse and still coming to my abusers aid while I sit- like you said-- " in pieces", well, I believe it has a lot to do with my self-worth. I never thought I should have the support and comfort that others had- but yet deep down inside resented that situation. I too didn't want to hurt anyone, and I still don't.... it's a tricky place to be in.

I'm working on valuing myself, being my own best friend- trying to comfort MYSELF like I have comforted others for so many years- including my abusers.

Don't know if you wanted to hear any of that and if not- sorry for my rambling! Wanted you to know that I think trying to understand is a good idea! Take care and we're always here for you.

Mandy