(((GRIFFE))). I am sorry that you are struggling at thie time this fiercely. I think as well as everyone else that your writing is the part of YOU that you need to let your therapist see, in able to be able to understand the part of YOU that needs the help. Your therapist will not laugh at you Griffe, your therapist is there to help you and your best interests. Take care of yourself. Soidhonia